What the hell is up with Eastenders these days? I am a big Eastenders fan, judge me all you like but I do love it, however this whole moist 'gang' and 'slang' crap sweeping the soap is completely backfiring just so they can look a little more like the authentic east end. I could just about handle Peggy hosting a grime night in the Vic, then the random E20 episodes and then the R&R getting sprayed down like a funkydaily dance but I had to put my foot down - Ben Batty Mitchell dropping some slang like he had just heard P Money's Slang Like This. Next he'll be an aspiring MC and call himself Fugative, Phil and Roxy will mortgage the car lot and Vic, he'll start calling himself supafly after being styled by stacey slator and he'll have a music video looking something like this.
You never know though he might start hanging with the Albert Deep Crew and start listening to some leng a man down bars and get all excited, I can see it now:
"Bad man Ben and my dads hard man Phil, I got an uncle hanging wid bare gangs for Sky TV, when he's suppose to be in Brazil, don't watch my face don't get up in my grill, while you're playing with Action man, dressing up like lady gaga is where I get my thrill, You're moist and I'm real"
Woiii reload that selector franky, them kind of bars would make him hot property, he'd most likely get selected to be in Roll Deep and go back to his moist roots. Good times down this avenue.
I've always wondered why I've never seen Fugative and Ben Mitchell in the same room and now I know why... I clocked it's just the glasses, take them off and he's SUPAAA FLY.
Grime also made a tiny appearance on Question Time, when a member of the audience wore a Tempa T Pars R Us Tshirt. I wonder what he was going to ask "This PARties chating shit,MP's are fucking pricks, David's on Gordan's dick, Thinking we're so thick, promising the world and then changing nothing quick..."
Just imagine if Tempa T was running for Prime Minister, I mean lets be honest Prime Minister's questions are pretty much Posh Parring battles of who done something better and who's parties better. Griminal would be part of the Green Party and Tempz would be Red Labour. High tops would be compulsory and baseball bat swinging lessons would be apart of every child's basic P.E lessons - who needs Rounders anyway? All school uniforms would be sponsored by Nike and just like Hitler had his Hail Hitler, Every time Tempa T walked into a room people would greet him with SLEWWWW DEM! fuck question time no words would be asked or answered there would simply be Skank Off's like THIS (watch the end part) and THIS2. My dream world is a bit strange. Remember when David Cameron tried to blame all gun/knife crime on Lethal B and Tim Westwood (slight exaduration) and then came out with hug a hoodie 2 seconds later. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to swinnnng us around with a new campaign.
DAVIDDDDDDDDDDD! NEXXXXXT TAX!
The long awaited S-X Wooooo Riddim EP is about to drop on 3rd May from I-tunes, which features all of the versions including a few unheard features as well, so I'm told. I'll be straight copping just for the D Double E Bad To The Bone version. I was going to put every youtube link up here for everyone to listen to but then I thought surely that would be pointless just go and by the mixtape and you can get the real thing all clear in your ear. - Stay tuned to StayfreshDigital.
Young Wolverhampton producer S-X caught everyone off guard with the Wooo Riddim as well has his skills behind Marvel Music and Frisco's Training Day. Although a little birdy told me that he doesn't make any music without his favourite hippy pillow by his side.
A close source tells me S-X can't even producer let alone turn on a computer and the real talent behind Wooo and the other Stayfresh beats is actually the Wooo Pillow. I was completed discusted when I heard the news although I knew none of you lot would believe me so I went full undercover journalist on him and hid in his studio for 4weeks. This is where I discovered the truth... S-X's ghost producing pillow. (Full British Gas)
Tempa T and JME collaboration track CD is Dead! apparently this is the BEAT which the fire is going to be over. I'm excited to see what these too bring together, you never know it could be a madness. Available from 30th May, give us another hilarious video to watch guys.
How can people just stand there, this looks like the deadest crowd I've seen in my life.